The Solutions to a Broken Heart

New York City in Miniature
(Shenzhen, China)

February, month six of healing
March, April, May to go...

The Solutions to a Broken Heart:
Acupuncture
Massage
Another Love
Food
Pets
Travel
Writing
Talking
Hiding
Sleeping
Running
Yelling
Venting
Vegging
Retreating
Other people's heart break stories
Music
Poetry
Cooking
Shopping
Organizing
Working
Dreaming
Walking
Collecting
Erasing
Remembering
Dissecting
Forgetting
Time
Letting go for your own health...

I would like to introduce you to my very special friend Poppy and
her poem that moved me beyond words.

Poppy Toland
I wanted to be your pet

I wanted to be your pussycat
And spend evenings curled up on your lap
But you told me you couldn’t stand cat hair
And your door didn’t suit a cat flap

I suggested being your sparrow
But you grumbled they’re much too chirpy
You worried my singsong wake up call
Would cut your sleep far too early

I offered to be a little red squirrel
Nestled behind your door
You shuddered to imagine those scuttling paws
Against your pinewood floors

So I asked to be your turtle instead
Living in my mobile place
You said I’d only hold you back
That small legs wouldn’t handle your pace

I asked to reside in your window box
A ladybird playing on your greens
You find creepy-crawlies offensive you say
Too many legs - just not your thing

Now you’re saying you just don’t like critters
And certainly not in your home
How I’d be better taking my menagerie off
And trying to go it alone

I realised whilst trying to be cute for you
With my fur and my wings and my whiskers
You’d reasoned we belong to insurmountably different
Phylum, and genus and species

So I took it all with me -
Heavy shell, all those feathers, every flea
Tail between legs, I slunk out of your life
And left you - free of animals and free of me.

***

Phil Collins
Against All Odds


How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now

[Now go listen to it and The Postal Service version]

you won't regret the aching feelings it brings on...
we can share a moment together thinking of how
we love heartbreak more than the heartbreakers.

XXX
SJ
Beijing, 2009

By Train, Plane, and Taxi

A loose translation of a proverb a man told me at a party this past summer:
The further you travel the more you learn*.
The Chinese character for the kind of knowledge you can gain from traveling is the same character used to describe the kind of knowledge you acquire from books, he said.

After arriving in Beijing Dec 3rd, having boarded the first leg of the trip on December 1st, I caught up on lost sleep and laid low to let my new reality sink in slowly. I was glad to have a slow and easy month at Dave's place. It was an ideal situation and I am grateful for this extra comfort.

The studio was not inhabitable upon arrival. Luckily, I had Dave's place to stay while I began to transform my studio to a live work space. In the process, with set backs like frozen pipes and no water or heat, I had a good reason to leave for a little while, giving these loose ends time to be resolved. The month of January is a slow month here because it is the build up to Chinese New Year. Things are quiet, people are away. Priscilla's visit came at a good time in terms of a good time to get out of Beijing for a while.

That said, planning travel in China close to the Chinese New Year is a real challenge. Priscilla came to continue some work on her project shooting "Fortune: The Retail Landscape of China." It took us down the coast to HK and southern China. In the span of just over 2 weeks time. The back end of January, which due to Mercury in retrograde, slowed progress on many levels. So why not travel with an old friend and start my exploration of other parts of China.

We jam packed half a dozen or more Malls and commerce related sites into this trip, while I focused on try local restaurants and habits & ways of life for the locals. Sadly, my point and shoot ran out of power and I had forgotten the reserve! It was just me, my Holga, and a little HD video camera this time around. Each of my cameras serve a different purpose. They are meant to capture different things, so there is a lack of daily routine documentation. So, I appologize, but I think I got some interesting stuff on flim and video. TBD...

Cameras are added weight and bulk. Its part of the problem of traveling. Add a laptop and camera to the clothes and shoes and winter into spring range of clothes...it adds up. All in all, Priscilla and I did quite well with two bags on wheels, our camera bags, and the occasional shopping bag. I definately have a few new travel tips under my belt.

1) Bring less and hand wash as you go. purchase a good pair of rubber gloves and a small bottle of detergent for delicates. (or just use the hotel soap)

2) Purchase travel size of your favorite toiletries. Hotels most often have shampoo, but not always conditioner or good body soap. While traveling familiar products with familiar scents will reduce over all stress.

3) Have a couple good collapsable bags. They come in real handy and are eco to boot!

4) Anticipate room needed for the odds and ends you pick up along the way.

5) Be prepared and have all your liquids and gels in one or two bags. When traveling by train it doesn't mater, but you know the rules for plane travel...

6) Do your homework ahead of time, so you don't wait too much time once you've arrived to figure out what you want to see and where you want to eat. I'm all for keeping your eye open for a tempting unknown which might pop up, but dont count on it!

7) Know your best options for getting and spending cash. Know how to not get killed with fees.
Its all in the small print, but it can save you a load of money in the long term.


Itinerary/Plan for "Fortune":

Jan 8
Depart Beijing on overnight train to Shanghai (Z7 7:44 pm)

Jan 9 - 10
Shanghai, Shanghainese spoken.
Old House Inn
No.16, Lane 351 Huashan Lu, Jing An
near Changshu Lu, Metro Line 2 Jing'an Temple Station
华山路351弄16号
近常熟路,地铁2号线静安寺站
6248-6118
Dinner at Citizen
Fabulous European style bar/cafe. Ambiance, clientel, and food, well worth the trip.

Dinner at Kareen's (Full Moon)
Good Indian, but not something to go out of your way for.

Jan 11
Depart Shanghai to Yiwu (D685 7:25 am) 2 hour fast train

Jan 12 - 13
Yiwu: Commerce City
Snow Peak Hotel

Jan 14
Depart Yiwu by plane to Shenzhen (CZ 3875 10:25 am)

Jan 14 - 17
Shenzhen Special Economic Zone (3 nights), Mandarin spoken.
Century Plaza Hotel
Window of the World

Jan 17 - 22
Hong Kong, Cantonese spoken.
Bishop Lei House
4 Robinson Road, Mid-Levels, Hong Kong

香港羅便臣道四號
(852) 2868 0828
Chungking Mansions (TST Kowloon side)
Star Ferry

Jan 22 - 25
Guangzhou (3 nights) aka Canton, where Cantonese is still spoken widely.
Grand Palace

Jan 25
Fly back to Beijing (PEK) from Guangzhou (CAN)

Jan 26, 2009
Chinese New Year

Legend-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where we stayed
Highlights of the trip

2009 Year of the Ox

All those born in the year of the Ox must wear red underwear year-round, by Chinese tradition.

Happy New Year!!!


Shows in January 2009

CaoChangdi

Art Channel
THE AFFINITIVE BOND -
Paintings of Zhang Wuyun and Zhu Xinyu, Two Young Artists from Shenyang
No.249-3
East End Art Zone B

China Art Archives & Warehouse
FOREIGN BODIES
Artist: Gao Weigang
Curator: Ai Weiwei
15 Nov 2008 - 15 Jan 2009
(+8610) 8456 5152
Gallery Hours: 2:00 - 6:00 pm, Wednesday - Sunday.

Chambers Fine Art Beijing
CO 2008: A Group Exhibition of Young Chinese Artists
Dec 27, 2008 - Feb 15, 2009
+86 10 51273298
Red No.1-D

DoArt
Jia Aili's Hibernation
Nov 14, 2008 - Spring 2009

F2
Group Show (closes March 1)
no. 319, Caochangdi
Tel.: +86 10 64328831

Pekin Fine Arts
Accumulation: Aniwar, Bai Yiluo, Choi Jeong-Hwa, He Yunchang, Huang Zhiyang, Billy Lee, Li Yao, Marvin Mintofang, Peter Sandbichler, Suling Wang, Wu Shanzhuan, Yeh Yi-li
Opening Reception: 2 - 6 pm, Dec 13, 2008
Exhibition Dates: 13 Dec 2008 – 16 Feb 2009
Tel: (8610) 5127 3220
No. 241 Cao Chang Di Village

PKM
#46-C Cao Chang Di
Tel: +86-10-8456-7429
Hours: Tuesday to Sunday: 11am – 5pm

Platform China
Title： Enjoy It?
Exhibition Date： 2008.12.06 - 2009.01.18
Exhibition Venue：Platform China Contemporary Art Institute Main Space B
Exhibition Artist：Zhou Yilun

Three Shadows Photography Art Centre
Ai Weiwei: New York Photographs 1983-1993

Location: No. 155A Caochangdi, Beijing, China
Exhibition Dates: January 2nd to April 18th, 2009

Universal Studios aka Boers-Li
Address: No.A-8 Caochangdi
Tel: +86-10-6432-2620
Opening Hours : Tuesdays through Sundays from 10:00-18:00

UrsMeile
BIG SHOW - XIE NANXING Wang Xingwei - one-man show
November 8, 2008 - January 11


798 Dashanzi




Chinese Contemporary
LOOK AT THIS!
featuring works from the artists Huang Rui, Lu Hao, Sheng Qi, Wu Junyong, Xue Song, & Zhang Dali. December 20, 2008 to February 13, 2009. Open everyday 11am - 7pm Tel: +86 (0)10 5978 9670


Paris-Beijing Photo Gallery

Edward Burtynsky

October 26th 2008 to January 10th 2009

Tel: +86 (010) 5978 9262


UCCA
Christian Dior & Chinese Artists
November 16, 2008-January 15, 2009
upcoming Mona Hatoum: Measures of Entanglement
February 6-April, 2009

Father Christmas, Santa Claus, or Saint Nicholas

Christmas 2008

I have come to realize that my confusion about interpretations, cultural and linguistic, stem from disconnects I saw a child. I was the kid always asking "why?" Not as in why can't I have a candy bar, but why does Saint Nicholas have black "elves" or slaves as a friend recently pointed out. But I never got answers because I was told to go "look it up," mind you this is preeeeee-internet. I didn't have the skills to find the answers on my own at that age. I might not have asked that particular question, as I had learned not to bother with difficult questions by that point (Saudi Arabia, age 4 - 6). Anyway, now I'm 33 and beginning to revisit those questions of my childhood.

It is a really fabulous thing to find yourself in a place where you look more in place than most places I've ever lived, yet don't have much direct access, cultural or language, to interact with my environment. Here I surprise people when I don't understand or speak the language. At home, maybe its the opposite. The first place I really called home is New York. Not because its the coolest city on earth, but because it's the first place I really feel at home. I have a sign I picked up at a garage sale that reads "Home is where the Heart is," which may have been why I thought to try and follow it here, but what I've found out is that my home is in my heart. It is where I am. Though now, having a place to call my own in Brooklyn, comforts me and is an extension of my heart, I am learning to feel at home where ever I am.

Chili is warming in the slow cooker. Friends coming for lunch and then heading out for a hike at the Fragrant Hills. Being in a place full of history has a similar effect as getting perspective from religion. It reminds you that life is big, much bigger than you and what you know. Its humbling, like nature. These institutions are all part of our culture. How we read, interpret, and understand these things. And we all do it a bit differently.

I met a man who grew up in Jerusalem last night. He is an architect. New to Beijing, he began to see similarities in the city structure and history to his home city. Being a holy site rather than a secular historic city as Beijing, but sharing things like an old city wall and then the expansion beyond. I'm not sure I understood all that he was trying to say, but I did recognize a familiar desire to try to interpret the new environment by comparing the similarities. For me, I am fascinated by the Beijing "er" and certain mandarin words that share a remarkable similarity to American slang and recent trend in rap music to pronounce word with an accentuated "er." I theorized that there was a connection through immigration of Chinese into urban crowded areas where young African Americans and Chinese mixed and new language was born out of being exposed to new sounds and opportunities of misinterpretation.

American Slang / Possible Chinese Origin
(in progress)

As a Christmas wish a friend asked for my top 5 fave books, so this is what I decided...not in any particular order:
1) Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
2) The Power of Place by Winifred Gallagher
3) Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder by Lawrence Weschler
4) The Companion Species Manifesto: Dogs, People, and Significant Otherness by Donna Haraway
5) Albertus Seba's Cabinet of Natural Curiosities (if picture books count, this is the most beautiful collection of diagrams of things in nature)

Man Man Lai

Slowly, slowly...forward.

The studio is coming along. Bed built, washing machine delivered, second-hand drinking fountain cleaned, drinking water delivered, Christmas palm installed, plumbing phase 1 finished.

Equivalents:
285 yuan will buy you an 80 min oil massage or a second-hand washing machine.
New washing machines are closer to 1,000 yuan, so I scored a deal.

Semi-equivalents:
Hi-phone costs about 600 RMB. A "iPhone" will cost you 800.
A real one...you do the math.

TO DO List:
1) Finish installing washing machine/plumbing
2) Buy a wooden bath basin for the room (maybe i can at least get a drain attached and boil water)
3) Buy an electric heater or two.
4) Buy a humidifier.
5) Try the public bath house in the village.
6) Buy a good torch, aka flashlight (and batteries).
7) Plan a studio warming and bring in the new year party mid-Jan.

I shot video for the first time in ages, maybe years.
A record store and hair salon. Heard some Beijing rock and folk. Got my hair chopped off!
It has been a good day.

Tomorrow is Friday and most of my friends leave for holiday this weekend. One friend asked what I'd want from the UK. Someone said Marmite. My mind drew a blank, but my mouth started to water for that weird salty goodness of Marmite. A childhood memory like toast with strawberry jam and boiled egg or large croutons with butter and brown sugar the neighbors would give me with tea. I think they were Dutch and don't know the proper name for the croutons, but same texture just larger. Now Im thinking of Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, and Santa. There are some really lovely chewy brown nuggets the moorish "helpers" would throw as they paraded through the streets in my compound growing up that I would love to taste again if I knew what they were. I think it would be in the ginger cookie family, but not sure. I'll have to ask my friend Poppy who I met in Beijing, but has recently moved to Holland to bring some back for me.

time for bed. cold outside. warm inside. thankgoodness.

XXX
Su