Clearing Counterspace

I've been dating Mono now for just over 3 weeks. Last night was date five. He has been to my place twice and is increasingly getting comfortable which is a good sign. We have properly become acquainted and are communicating well in intimate spaces.

So, initially I was nervous about how he would respond to seeing my space. A space everyone always says makes them feel comfortable and cozy in, but having seen his home environment I was a little concerned. Why? Because he is a details kinda guy. Notices and cares about the details. Me, I'd say I'm a essence kinda girl. More about feeling and bigger picture. In New York personal space is a very big deal. Most people don't entertain because space is limited and home is sacred. It's our only slice of sanity and our hideaway from the world. I'd say my home feels like a very friendly if a bit unstructured hug. Mono's is a perfectly executed introductory double kiss. We need each other perhaps. Basically, date four was him coming over for take-out and a movie. I'd say he was able to relax pretty much instantly upon arrival. I say this because after a bit of conversation, we basically could not keep our hands off each other. We had a late dinner and watched Woody Allen's "What's up Tiger Lily?" as I fell asleep in his lap. It's a really cool film if you haven't see it. It was just way passed my bedtime at this point in the eve. Mono is a night owl. He says he comes alive at night.

Last night was the date five. We met out at the Clover Club. I was having drinks with Anna and Chryssa, two of my favorite people from my program. He was coming from a memorial, which took "more scotch and time than anticipated," but I was in good company so not worried about the timing. I wore a new black dress with a lace neckline and a line of buttons detailing the back of the dress. We had discussed the deviled eggs that they have on the menu. He really remembered loving them and he is a very discriminating man, so I was so excited to try them. During the course of the evening, I ordered the deviled eggs to share with the ladies and then when he was en route, a second order was requested so he would arrive to a personal plate and three inebriated young ladies eagerly awaiting his arrival. What a lucky man, right! Well, after a brief introduction, we went on our way to dinner then back to mine for a good nights sleep.

Which brings us to today. We had a nice slow morning, then I left him to sleep a bit more while Meta and I went for a walk and some breakfast shopping. I returned to a showered and dressed Mono who had gone through the fridge and sampled from a jar he was very curious about. He was like a little boy who had gotten into the candy drawer. Awfully cute.

So here is the part I wonder about. He helped deal with the groceries and we decided we would cook in rather than brunch out. He still had his Memorial Service suit on. Then in order to find counter space for him to cook, he kinda went on a rampage. I'll just say I didn't mind what happened next, but it was something I think might be significant and needs some perspective to de-code! We basically cleared the whole counter, trashing the things he was sure I didn't need (sub-par kitchen utensils essentially), putting away things that have lived semi-permenantly on the counter (balsamic vinegar, glass containers holding chopsticks, small spoons, sugar, tea bags) and doing a deep cleanse of the surface and things that survived his edit. Whew! Wipe metaphorical sweat off forehead. Yes, filling a bag of trash and recycling. Then he did make a beautiful breakfast. Softly scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, and baguette slices. I was in charge of making tea. PGTips, thank you very much. There was also a little interlude somewhere between breakfast and the extreme kitchen make-over. So, it was fun, rather than just a full take over. The counter looks a bit naked to me now, but it is much more functional. The idea is to be able to have this paring down and getting rid of things that are not quality and just taking up space, creating clutter. We had talked about the fact that I wanted to do this in general, so I didn't see it as an attack of my design sensibility, but as a helpful and ruthless cleaning.

Question is do I see this as a way of caring for me? or Do I see this as just an act of overly controlling my environment? I mean, I am looking for someone I would want to eventually live with as is he, so these personal habits and maintenance of personal space is relevant. Caring cultivation is what I am gonna consider his gesture. He helped take the garbage and recycling out. He can see it is not easy for me to make these kinds of decisions, so I am grateful for his help. At this point, he has seen everything...everything in my cabinets and drawers, all the doggie hair in the nooks and crannies of my apartment by the light of day, and pretty much every detail of my physical being too. Now all that is left unseen is the my full emotional landscape and my evolution through longer periods of time.

PS
I am now a proud new owner of the Miele Polaris S4212 Canister Vacuum Cleaner. Should arrive by Wednesday. I'll let y'all know if it is a life changing experience like all the reviews seem to make it out to be...

You can see a version of what Mono was sampling from my fridge here:
http://www.maangchi.com/ingredients/perilla-leaves

Sensing Trouble

I'm pretty sure I know from the first two and now three dates, what would be problematic going forward. I fall easily. I know this from reviewing all my journal entries from previous relationships. I actually love falling in love. Its a fact. I wonder if I could fall in love with a hobo. Its entirely possible, scary, but possible. AND I know that from the beginning I always sense what will be the issue that could and then eventually does arise if the relationship continues.

Without going back in history, I will just say that with Mono, the fear I have is that I could be lonely in a relationship with him. Its actually the worst feeling in the world. I say that, but I will also say that I really like many things about him, which is setting off alarms inside my stomach and making me do weird preemptive things...I've accepted a second date with OK#four, as well as, hung out with a boy who is visiting from New Zealand and not a romantic interest for me. I also actively responded to a guy who had messaged weeks ago and will be OK#five. OK#five suggested meeting for a "cuppa" to see if we could have fun together (yikes!).


SO WHY am I acting crazy. I actually think Mono could be a 98% man-list match. Terrifying! The only thing I can say is that I am willing to see this through, even with some concerns. His skill set and background make for the best storybook romance with the character I am developing into, but something isn't sitting right. We got physical, but I did not let it go too far. Though I wasn't able to articulate why I wanted to take things slow in the moment, mission was accomplished. He protested a little, but I said I still wanted to see him naked. A request to which he obliged. Then well, I stayed over and emotionally became vulnerable. This sudden vulnerability was very hard for me. I should have just left it alone and let him contact me first, but I had to message first. He's not much of a texter, so he kinda left me cold. Last text, was him saying he might be coming down with the flu and he would let me know...I had invited him over to watch some Wong Kar Wai, who I love, but he apparently thinks he would hate!? Yeah, the communication has been weird.

More on Mono:
He lives above his father's restaurant. He has some issues with his father, which I think I may understand. Though as an artist, its hard to turn down free rent. He is in a phase of upgrading and modifying his life. He likes things paramilitary. He experiments with ice cubes, looking to create the perfect clear cube. Yes, there is a metaphor here. I love the imperfections and the lines and air that the impurities create. He is trying to create a clear piece of ice. OK, enough about him for now.

Advise on dating or men in general are welcome. I am trying to learn as I go.

Learning To Cook For One

Quinoa and Kale

In hopes of cooking in more and finding easy dishes to make for one, I've dedicated this entry to my lunch today. Quinoa made with vegetable stock with Kale in olive oil and a little low sodium soy with tumeric and fennel.

Foeniculum vulgare–Fennel

Properties: carminative, diuretic, stimulant, antispasmodic, anti-inflammatory, aromatic, expectorant, aperitif, antiseptic, depurative, emmenagogue, laxative, orexigenic, splenic, vermifuge, anti-microbial, tonic, calmative, stomachic, bechyic, digestive, vaso-motorial, cardiac, galactagogue and diuretic.

Energetics: pungent, warm, dry, sweet 

Meridians/Organs affected: spleen, stomach, liver, kidney

Plus

Tumeric, a couple reasons why this is special:

Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.

Is a natural liver detoxifier.

Mono for monosaccharide

We met on a Thursday early evening at Hotel Delmano. He arrived a bit early, so he was seated and waiting for me. He sat on the outside, reserving the banquette seating for me, which was a good sign. Mono is an Aries. He is son to an Austrian artist mother and MD father. His mother has passed, but his father is around, but travels frequently. They literally decided to name their only son Mono (two long O's) for monosaccharide. Their one and only lille socker bit. As fate would have it, we could have met in art school in the early 2000s, but I chose to head toward Boston rather than California. Instead he had an unrealized teacher crush on an art historian there, while I lived the dream in Boston seducing and then dating Bill. Mono seemed to like that. He seems to be pretty liberal in terms of sexual mores, which is another good sign. Two for two.
Other bonuses:
1) I love elderflower syrup and he has literally picked elderflower blossoms and made homemade syrup. Apparently, they grow wild on the side of the road in Austria.
 2) I have been really getting into bubbly water and was talking about those soda makers and apparently, Austria is known for them and has been making seltzers at home forever! Imagine those antique soda makers for a moment, then think Austria. For some reason this makes me like him more.
3) He is also well versed in the culinary arts.
4) He has a thing with plants. A wild vine grows in his apartment. (awesome!)
5) He was sweet and gentlemanly and has asked me for another date to see a film.
 And he has great taste in films.

To be continued...

This is our Chinese Astrological outlook; )
Love Match: Rabbit and Sheep

Re-discovering Susan Miller

I used to be an astrology junkie. Susan Miller was the woman I most trusted in those days. Occasionally, when I am at a crossroad, I will check in and look for some signals.

My September 2011 Horoscope reads:

Romantically, with Mar entering Leo, you will have seven weeks of fun ahead, and of course, considering life this month, you could use that! In this case, single Aries will have an edge over the ones who are attached. I say that with a qualification, for Mars will certainly help single Aries to find new love - this is one of the best aspects you can have to help you, aside from Jupiter in Aries (which you had earlier, from September 9, 2010 to June, 4, 2011). You have every reason to be optimistic about having your chance to meet someone special now. You will have from September 18 to November 18.

-From the Aries monthly forecast