A Night in K-town

A Night in K-town:

Civilized dinner at Hangawi
12 E 32nd St; 212) 213-0077

then fried chicken for dessert: )

South side of the street, look for flag flying outside that reads "Restaurant Forte."
Take elevator or stairs to second floor...

Restaurant Forte Baden Baden
28 West 32nd Street, second floor; Koreatown; (212) 714-2266.

November 30, 2010

This is the one year mark of my dear friend Josh Levine's passing. It was sudden and we were robbed. He was a friend that embodied love and kindness. He followed his dreams and lived life with integrity and genuine care for the people he loved. We shared the love of photography, food and family. We shared friends and holidays and plans for future projects. He always welcomed me with my dog into his home. Josh even spent time throwing sticks for Meta while he worked in the garden. Josh cooked for us, picked us up at the train station in his convertible, played great music for us, hosted us for long weekends, made us all feel at home and always made us feel loved when we had to say good-bye. I am so very grateful for his love and light and the impression he has left in my life. He was truly an angel among men. I will always remember him as I pursuit my dreams and bring them to life.

Josh, you are in my heart. You have effected many people in this world and live on through your inspirations, your family and your friends.

A Love Calculator

I'm in the middle of some craziness, but will be writing more over break. Until then, here is a funny site I found while doing some research.

Ask Dr. Love about your chances!
 http://www.lovecalculator.com/

Emergency Contact | Consulate General of the United States Chengdu, China

Recently, I was asked to retell the story of my last days in China. May 2009. Something that still induces heart palpitations and anxiety. So, I had to dig back into my memory bank. I may need to finish writing my account of the story. My verbal story telling skills are part of the reason why most people never hear the full story.

Step 1: Finding out why being an American Citizen really paid off

Emergency Contact | Consulate General of the United States Chengdu, China. You should check this out at, http://chengdu.usembassy-china.org.cn/emergencies.html

Fwd: Lee, Su-Jung CASE # 1435014

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Su-Jung Lee <metasujung@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, May 26, 2009 at 7:58 AM
Subject: Re: Lee, Su-Jung CASE # 1435014
To: Operations <Operations@medexassist.com>


HI Max,

I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you! I am doing much better now. The dr.s advised not to take any long flights for a bit, so Im laying low in Kunming for a few more days then back to Beijing before I fly home to the states, Please let me know what you will need from me. I have my invoices, but due to miscommunication I was checked into the first hospital in Kangding under a Chinese name. I was able to correct the records for the second hospital in Chengdu, once I realized where I was and what had happened. That Sunday/Monday are still a bit fuzzy. I hope the first hospital records will be ok for your records. Im not sure I can go back there and change it now. Will you need translations into english?

Just so glad to be out of there and feeling better. Looking forward to being back State side.

Let me know if you have questions and when the best time to call you would be if you need to talk.

Best,
Su-Jung

On Sun, May 17, 2009 at 8:40 AM, Operations wrote:

Hello,

I hope all is well. I am e-mailing you from MEDEX, the assistance company that works on behalf of your travel insurance (Travelex). We were notified by a Mr. Aaron Rupert that you were being taken to the hospital for Altitude Sickness. We were unable to reach him for an update on the cell phone # he provided. Can you please provide us with an update on your current situation and how we may assist you.


Thank you,
Max 
Emergency Response Center

Please listen.

"Chambers of my Heart"
Take a listen. It's the best way to describe how I'm feeling this week. Post-Mono.

Add SPOTIFY and use your Facebook. We can share our new and old finds. The new mixed tape and love letter.

XXX
Studying the metaphysical aspects of soul healing...

upon reflection,

some last words...

"随神往来者谓之魂"

This is from a classical Chinese text, which loosely translates as "Where the Shen goes, the Hun follows." What I understand of this statement is that where your Heart goes, your Hun, which is the aspect of your soul which makes decisions and drives its course forward, will act as a general and help materialize the wishes of his emperor, the Heart. I'm sure you want to dismiss this as some unscientific romantic garbage, but there is a long history that has proven its truth and it has parallels in many different cultures.

[ DELETED: a letter from a confused and bruised heart ]

NOTE: I'm sending this to my blog, rather than actually sending to Mono. I am reactive a this time, so I want to get it out, but need to sit on it a while longer.

Seriously, Susan, how did you know: (from Astrologyzone.com for Oct. 2011)

'Speaking philosophically, the seventh house is the area of the chart where two people come together in a common interest to work together on a single purpose or goal. The success or failure of that merging of energies depends on the good character and integrity of the two people involved, including how closely they hold to their promises and also how strongly they sustain enthusiasm for the union. If you are in love, and you know your partner's motives and character are sound, you can now build a very strong union with Saturn in the seventh house.


This focus on a partner is due to the new moon that occurred last month on September 27, strongly operative for two weeks, but actually having a life span of longer. The trend will continue in coming months, partly due to the way new moons work, and partly due to the position of Saturn and Uranus. The seventh house rules the people who support you wholeheartedly in a very individual one-on-one way, and also those who oppose you and try to thwart your actions. That means this house rules your serious, committed partner in love or marriage, or a business partner, but also your competitor or critic / detractor - even a person who betrays you.


If you are asking yourself, "How could the person you love and marry be found in the same house as an open enemy?" You are right to ask. I asked the same question when I first studied astrology many years ago. The way your astrologer knows the difference is to look at the aspects circulating at any one time in your chart. You have a lot of conflicting energy affecting that house of marriage and partnership right now, so the partner / competitor you are thinking about could be either a force for good or not. Because I can't see the rest of your chart, I have to prepare you for the downside possibilities.'

Clearing Counterspace

I've been dating Mono now for just over 3 weeks. Last night was date five. He has been to my place twice and is increasingly getting comfortable which is a good sign. We have properly become acquainted and are communicating well in intimate spaces.

So, initially I was nervous about how he would respond to seeing my space. A space everyone always says makes them feel comfortable and cozy in, but having seen his home environment I was a little concerned. Why? Because he is a details kinda guy. Notices and cares about the details. Me, I'd say I'm a essence kinda girl. More about feeling and bigger picture. In New York personal space is a very big deal. Most people don't entertain because space is limited and home is sacred. It's our only slice of sanity and our hideaway from the world. I'd say my home feels like a very friendly if a bit unstructured hug. Mono's is a perfectly executed introductory double kiss. We need each other perhaps. Basically, date four was him coming over for take-out and a movie. I'd say he was able to relax pretty much instantly upon arrival. I say this because after a bit of conversation, we basically could not keep our hands off each other. We had a late dinner and watched Woody Allen's "What's up Tiger Lily?" as I fell asleep in his lap. It's a really cool film if you haven't see it. It was just way passed my bedtime at this point in the eve. Mono is a night owl. He says he comes alive at night.

Last night was the date five. We met out at the Clover Club. I was having drinks with Anna and Chryssa, two of my favorite people from my program. He was coming from a memorial, which took "more scotch and time than anticipated," but I was in good company so not worried about the timing. I wore a new black dress with a lace neckline and a line of buttons detailing the back of the dress. We had discussed the deviled eggs that they have on the menu. He really remembered loving them and he is a very discriminating man, so I was so excited to try them. During the course of the evening, I ordered the deviled eggs to share with the ladies and then when he was en route, a second order was requested so he would arrive to a personal plate and three inebriated young ladies eagerly awaiting his arrival. What a lucky man, right! Well, after a brief introduction, we went on our way to dinner then back to mine for a good nights sleep.

Which brings us to today. We had a nice slow morning, then I left him to sleep a bit more while Meta and I went for a walk and some breakfast shopping. I returned to a showered and dressed Mono who had gone through the fridge and sampled from a jar he was very curious about. He was like a little boy who had gotten into the candy drawer. Awfully cute.

So here is the part I wonder about. He helped deal with the groceries and we decided we would cook in rather than brunch out. He still had his Memorial Service suit on. Then in order to find counter space for him to cook, he kinda went on a rampage. I'll just say I didn't mind what happened next, but it was something I think might be significant and needs some perspective to de-code! We basically cleared the whole counter, trashing the things he was sure I didn't need (sub-par kitchen utensils essentially), putting away things that have lived semi-permenantly on the counter (balsamic vinegar, glass containers holding chopsticks, small spoons, sugar, tea bags) and doing a deep cleanse of the surface and things that survived his edit. Whew! Wipe metaphorical sweat off forehead. Yes, filling a bag of trash and recycling. Then he did make a beautiful breakfast. Softly scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, and baguette slices. I was in charge of making tea. PGTips, thank you very much. There was also a little interlude somewhere between breakfast and the extreme kitchen make-over. So, it was fun, rather than just a full take over. The counter looks a bit naked to me now, but it is much more functional. The idea is to be able to have this paring down and getting rid of things that are not quality and just taking up space, creating clutter. We had talked about the fact that I wanted to do this in general, so I didn't see it as an attack of my design sensibility, but as a helpful and ruthless cleaning.

Question is do I see this as a way of caring for me? or Do I see this as just an act of overly controlling my environment? I mean, I am looking for someone I would want to eventually live with as is he, so these personal habits and maintenance of personal space is relevant. Caring cultivation is what I am gonna consider his gesture. He helped take the garbage and recycling out. He can see it is not easy for me to make these kinds of decisions, so I am grateful for his help. At this point, he has seen everything...everything in my cabinets and drawers, all the doggie hair in the nooks and crannies of my apartment by the light of day, and pretty much every detail of my physical being too. Now all that is left unseen is the my full emotional landscape and my evolution through longer periods of time.

PS
I am now a proud new owner of the Miele Polaris S4212 Canister Vacuum Cleaner. Should arrive by Wednesday. I'll let y'all know if it is a life changing experience like all the reviews seem to make it out to be...

You can see a version of what Mono was sampling from my fridge here:
http://www.maangchi.com/ingredients/perilla-leaves

Sensing Trouble

I'm pretty sure I know from the first two and now three dates, what would be problematic going forward. I fall easily. I know this from reviewing all my journal entries from previous relationships. I actually love falling in love. Its a fact. I wonder if I could fall in love with a hobo. Its entirely possible, scary, but possible. AND I know that from the beginning I always sense what will be the issue that could and then eventually does arise if the relationship continues.

Without going back in history, I will just say that with Mono, the fear I have is that I could be lonely in a relationship with him. Its actually the worst feeling in the world. I say that, but I will also say that I really like many things about him, which is setting off alarms inside my stomach and making me do weird preemptive things...I've accepted a second date with OK#four, as well as, hung out with a boy who is visiting from New Zealand and not a romantic interest for me. I also actively responded to a guy who had messaged weeks ago and will be OK#five. OK#five suggested meeting for a "cuppa" to see if we could have fun together (yikes!).


SO WHY am I acting crazy. I actually think Mono could be a 98% man-list match. Terrifying! The only thing I can say is that I am willing to see this through, even with some concerns. His skill set and background make for the best storybook romance with the character I am developing into, but something isn't sitting right. We got physical, but I did not let it go too far. Though I wasn't able to articulate why I wanted to take things slow in the moment, mission was accomplished. He protested a little, but I said I still wanted to see him naked. A request to which he obliged. Then well, I stayed over and emotionally became vulnerable. This sudden vulnerability was very hard for me. I should have just left it alone and let him contact me first, but I had to message first. He's not much of a texter, so he kinda left me cold. Last text, was him saying he might be coming down with the flu and he would let me know...I had invited him over to watch some Wong Kar Wai, who I love, but he apparently thinks he would hate!? Yeah, the communication has been weird.

More on Mono:
He lives above his father's restaurant. He has some issues with his father, which I think I may understand. Though as an artist, its hard to turn down free rent. He is in a phase of upgrading and modifying his life. He likes things paramilitary. He experiments with ice cubes, looking to create the perfect clear cube. Yes, there is a metaphor here. I love the imperfections and the lines and air that the impurities create. He is trying to create a clear piece of ice. OK, enough about him for now.

Advise on dating or men in general are welcome. I am trying to learn as I go.

Learning To Cook For One

Quinoa and Kale

In hopes of cooking in more and finding easy dishes to make for one, I've dedicated this entry to my lunch today. Quinoa made with vegetable stock with Kale in olive oil and a little low sodium soy with tumeric and fennel.

Foeniculum vulgare–Fennel

Properties: carminative, diuretic, stimulant, antispasmodic, anti-inflammatory, aromatic, expectorant, aperitif, antiseptic, depurative, emmenagogue, laxative, orexigenic, splenic, vermifuge, anti-microbial, tonic, calmative, stomachic, bechyic, digestive, vaso-motorial, cardiac, galactagogue and diuretic.

Energetics: pungent, warm, dry, sweet 

Meridians/Organs affected: spleen, stomach, liver, kidney

Plus

Tumeric, a couple reasons why this is special:

Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.

Is a natural liver detoxifier.

Mono for monosaccharide

We met on a Thursday early evening at Hotel Delmano. He arrived a bit early, so he was seated and waiting for me. He sat on the outside, reserving the banquette seating for me, which was a good sign. Mono is an Aries. He is son to an Austrian artist mother and MD father. His mother has passed, but his father is around, but travels frequently. They literally decided to name their only son Mono (two long O's) for monosaccharide. Their one and only lille socker bit. As fate would have it, we could have met in art school in the early 2000s, but I chose to head toward Boston rather than California. Instead he had an unrealized teacher crush on an art historian there, while I lived the dream in Boston seducing and then dating Bill. Mono seemed to like that. He seems to be pretty liberal in terms of sexual mores, which is another good sign. Two for two.
Other bonuses:
1) I love elderflower syrup and he has literally picked elderflower blossoms and made homemade syrup. Apparently, they grow wild on the side of the road in Austria.
 2) I have been really getting into bubbly water and was talking about those soda makers and apparently, Austria is known for them and has been making seltzers at home forever! Imagine those antique soda makers for a moment, then think Austria. For some reason this makes me like him more.
3) He is also well versed in the culinary arts.
4) He has a thing with plants. A wild vine grows in his apartment. (awesome!)
5) He was sweet and gentlemanly and has asked me for another date to see a film.
 And he has great taste in films.

To be continued...

This is our Chinese Astrological outlook; )
Love Match: Rabbit and Sheep

Re-discovering Susan Miller

I used to be an astrology junkie. Susan Miller was the woman I most trusted in those days. Occasionally, when I am at a crossroad, I will check in and look for some signals.

My September 2011 Horoscope reads:

Romantically, with Mar entering Leo, you will have seven weeks of fun ahead, and of course, considering life this month, you could use that! In this case, single Aries will have an edge over the ones who are attached. I say that with a qualification, for Mars will certainly help single Aries to find new love - this is one of the best aspects you can have to help you, aside from Jupiter in Aries (which you had earlier, from September 9, 2010 to June, 4, 2011). You have every reason to be optimistic about having your chance to meet someone special now. You will have from September 18 to November 18.

-From the Aries monthly forecast

2011 and Dating Again

I am no longer free as a bird on the road toward enlightenment. I am staying put to lay some roots and find out how to connect and reconnect with people and the environment here in New York.

Since my last entry, I have started a new master's program in Traditional Chinese Medicine and Herbal Medicine. Started in May 2010. Now, over a year in, I am happy and feel that I am on the right path.

The thing that I still have not figured out is what my life of love will be. I've pretty much been alone since the end of my relationship Henry in October of 2008. Though the fall out was difficult, we did reconnect for a night on my birthday and it was an appropriate conclusion. So, this brings us to end of March 2009. I took my time to clear all those feelings out of my system and opened myself up to a set-up by a friend. I "dated" this guy for about a month and a half, but ended it as soon as I knew it wasn't right. So effectively I have been alone since May 2010. So, on my summer vacation, I decided to start my proactive journey toward finding Love in this great city!

August 2011 I set up a profile on a OKCupid, screen name: SJ_BKLYN.

Operation PC for Pericardium, the Heart protector, began.

Goal: at least 20 first dates (arbitrary number, thanks to my dating adviser, DP)

With hopes of me learning how to manage expectations better, communicate better, as well as figure out what I am really looking for in a partner, here we go!

I am using names because I want to remember all the people who help me get to the next place, where ever that may be.

August 17, The Narrows, Bushwick (Dinner at Momo, then Dessert at Tuffet)
Date #1: Mario Provini, aka "circa 2005," 40 yrs (Cancer)
I made all the classic mistakes. Seriously, as if I had not lived the last 15 years of my life. And the results, predictable and sad really. A reminder to take things slower and stand my ground, as well as, trust my gut!
Lesson: Don't Facebook "friend" your dates. I knew this before, but this date was all about reminding me what I already knew.


August 31, Stone Park Cafe, Park Slope
Date #2: Adam Shaw, the Sex Guru, 51 years, (Aries)
This time I communicated much better and did technically go slower. He led. First by phone, IM, and text. It heated up pretty quickly. We were both very interested in sex, but with intimacy. He introduced me to a book called "Passionate Marriage." We wanted the same kind of intimacy, but in the end, I did not find him physically attractive. There were hints of a brash personality when he got a bit lost coming to meet me in my neighborhood. He made too big of a deal of the trip and my directions that got him lost. Well, he had rushed the schedule to meet for lunch rather than dinner, so that was a bit of pressure. I caved, but the actual lunch was enlightening and quite nice conversation. Very open and kind and still playful and sincere. But after all that sexual energy, we just spoke frankly and we connecting on a non-sexual level. He is a very kind and sensitive man who is looking for his perfect match. He said at one point that he is too old for me, but I did need an older man. He sent a kind text after thanking me for taking the time to meet him.
Lesson: You can't force physical attraction. Talking and establishing a relationship before meeting, can't replace the initial meeting to find out if there is physical chemistry.


Scheduled for September 8, Hotel Delmano, Williamsburg
Date #3: Mono, the Conceptual Artist, 44 yrs, (Aries)
Though he grew up in NYC, he is just recently back from living abroad and spending some time in Chicago. He is half-Austian, speaks french, german, and bit of italian, loves food eating and cooking, and probably has some technical skills on top of the conceptual. I may not be his ideal match, but I think we will have a nice time and possibly be art friends. Who knows? I'm his first meet-in-person OKcupid date. I'm sure it will be a pleasant experience and give him good feelings about more in person dates.