Clearing Counterspace

I've been dating Mono now for just over 3 weeks. Last night was date five. He has been to my place twice and is increasingly getting comfortable which is a good sign. We have properly become acquainted and are communicating well in intimate spaces.

So, initially I was nervous about how he would respond to seeing my space. A space everyone always says makes them feel comfortable and cozy in, but having seen his home environment I was a little concerned. Why? Because he is a details kinda guy. Notices and cares about the details. Me, I'd say I'm a essence kinda girl. More about feeling and bigger picture. In New York personal space is a very big deal. Most people don't entertain because space is limited and home is sacred. It's our only slice of sanity and our hideaway from the world. I'd say my home feels like a very friendly if a bit unstructured hug. Mono's is a perfectly executed introductory double kiss. We need each other perhaps. Basically, date four was him coming over for take-out and a movie. I'd say he was able to relax pretty much instantly upon arrival. I say this because after a bit of conversation, we basically could not keep our hands off each other. We had a late dinner and watched Woody Allen's "What's up Tiger Lily?" as I fell asleep in his lap. It's a really cool film if you haven't see it. It was just way passed my bedtime at this point in the eve. Mono is a night owl. He says he comes alive at night.

Last night was the date five. We met out at the Clover Club. I was having drinks with Anna and Chryssa, two of my favorite people from my program. He was coming from a memorial, which took "more scotch and time than anticipated," but I was in good company so not worried about the timing. I wore a new black dress with a lace neckline and a line of buttons detailing the back of the dress. We had discussed the deviled eggs that they have on the menu. He really remembered loving them and he is a very discriminating man, so I was so excited to try them. During the course of the evening, I ordered the deviled eggs to share with the ladies and then when he was en route, a second order was requested so he would arrive to a personal plate and three inebriated young ladies eagerly awaiting his arrival. What a lucky man, right! Well, after a brief introduction, we went on our way to dinner then back to mine for a good nights sleep.

Which brings us to today. We had a nice slow morning, then I left him to sleep a bit more while Meta and I went for a walk and some breakfast shopping. I returned to a showered and dressed Mono who had gone through the fridge and sampled from a jar he was very curious about. He was like a little boy who had gotten into the candy drawer. Awfully cute.

So here is the part I wonder about. He helped deal with the groceries and we decided we would cook in rather than brunch out. He still had his Memorial Service suit on. Then in order to find counter space for him to cook, he kinda went on a rampage. I'll just say I didn't mind what happened next, but it was something I think might be significant and needs some perspective to de-code! We basically cleared the whole counter, trashing the things he was sure I didn't need (sub-par kitchen utensils essentially), putting away things that have lived semi-permenantly on the counter (balsamic vinegar, glass containers holding chopsticks, small spoons, sugar, tea bags) and doing a deep cleanse of the surface and things that survived his edit. Whew! Wipe metaphorical sweat off forehead. Yes, filling a bag of trash and recycling. Then he did make a beautiful breakfast. Softly scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, and baguette slices. I was in charge of making tea. PGTips, thank you very much. There was also a little interlude somewhere between breakfast and the extreme kitchen make-over. So, it was fun, rather than just a full take over. The counter looks a bit naked to me now, but it is much more functional. The idea is to be able to have this paring down and getting rid of things that are not quality and just taking up space, creating clutter. We had talked about the fact that I wanted to do this in general, so I didn't see it as an attack of my design sensibility, but as a helpful and ruthless cleaning.

Question is do I see this as a way of caring for me? or Do I see this as just an act of overly controlling my environment? I mean, I am looking for someone I would want to eventually live with as is he, so these personal habits and maintenance of personal space is relevant. Caring cultivation is what I am gonna consider his gesture. He helped take the garbage and recycling out. He can see it is not easy for me to make these kinds of decisions, so I am grateful for his help. At this point, he has seen everything...everything in my cabinets and drawers, all the doggie hair in the nooks and crannies of my apartment by the light of day, and pretty much every detail of my physical being too. Now all that is left unseen is the my full emotional landscape and my evolution through longer periods of time.

PS
I am now a proud new owner of the Miele Polaris S4212 Canister Vacuum Cleaner. Should arrive by Wednesday. I'll let y'all know if it is a life changing experience like all the reviews seem to make it out to be...

You can see a version of what Mono was sampling from my fridge here:
http://www.maangchi.com/ingredients/perilla-leaves